Will Dickens' 19th birthday

Will, it is your 19th birthday today. I wish you were here with us. We love and miss you so much. Such a beautiful person with so much to give. Yesterday was a beautiful day with the scholarship given in your memory to fellow youth group member, Sarah Bradbury. I felt your presence all around on a lovely Spring day in May. Love, Mom Thank you St. Bede's Parish for sharing this special day with us. The Dickens' Family

Fall 2011-October

October 19 will be the 2nd anniversary of Will's tragic death. Fall used to be my favorite time of year. October was especially my favorite month. I still want fall to be my favorite, it is very difficult, now. Perhaps, eventually...
We just got back from attending a wedding in England. It was a fairy tale wedding at a very old church at Elvaston Castle County Park in Derby. Proud parents (Richard's cousin, Andrew, and his wife, Helen), proud bride and groom, Fran and Rich. We were honored to share in their wedding day.
Then off to Sheffield to visit more relatives, ah the love of family, thank you! Hiked the Yorkshire Moors-Herriott country then off to London to see plays. War Horse was our favorite.
We hear of many changes happening at St. Bede's. We look forward to stopping by when in town to visit, attend church, just "be" in Will's garden among nature with his spirit ever so present there.
On my commute to San Francisco, I take the ferry from Vallejo, I journal. Have been writing in the same journal since Will died. Reading it, brings back so many memories, so much of the journey. Here is an excerpt:
May 21, 2010-Will's 17th birthday
"Visited Bede's after dropping Aly off at school, the Trinity kids were going to chapel. Will, your spirit was with them. Giselle was awarded your Adopt-a-College scholarship in the amount of $2000. She will go to USF next year and wants to become a Spanish teacher. The program is wonderful, we will donate in your name every year and follow the kids through college. I love you so much and miss you, Will. Mom

Will-Forever in my heart

An Afternoon with Will-Bertita Graebner

I am preparing Turkey Tetrazzini for Janet and Richard, wanting in some small way to comfort them at this their time of deep loss.
Will liked meat balls and potatoes. He liked comfort food. Turkey Tetrazzini is comfort food. I think Will would like this dish.
Quietly, I boil up the turkey leg and thigh I have chosen for the meal. Meditatively I strain the broth and strip the meat from the bones, chop it into bite size pieces. I sauté the green pepper and mushrooms thinking momentarily of Luisa Tetrazzini for whom the dish is allegedly named. She was blocked from singing in New York City and, as Wikipedia tells the story, she said…
"I will sing in San Francisco if I have to sing there in the streets, for I know the streets of San Francisco are free." This line became famous. She won her legal case, and her agent announced she would sing in the streets of San Francisco. On a crystal clear Christmas Eve in 1910, at the corner of Market and Kearney near Lotta’s Fountain, Tetrazzini climbed a stage platform in a sparkling white gown, surrounded by a throng of an estimated two to three-hundred thousand San Franciscans, and serenaded the city she loved.
I wonder what Will thinks of such determination and persistence in the face of opposition. I mourn the light of his spirit no longer with us. I add the chopped ham. I prepare the light cream sauce and add the sherry, along with the nutmeg. I think of my mother, who was born in November of 1910 – her parents just returning from a year in SF. This recipe comes from a cookbook of her age and carries for me the warmth of home. I add the turkey along with the ripe olives, simmer till thick and creamy. I imagine Will just home from a day at school and his expectation of comfort and warm contentment from this meal. I boil the spaghetti. I toss the lot until evenly mixed. I sprinkle it with parmesan cheese.
Piping hot, I carry it to Janet and Richard.
The dish is prepared with love in my heart for friends and a tender place for Will, knowing his bright spirit is safe, comforted, and at home.